fear Archives - Seren Holistic Lifestyles

Posts Tagged ‘fear’

I’m on a Podcast!

February 16, 2016 By Kat

There’s nothing like declaring your fear to the world & stepping forward to conquer it. In November last year I wrote a post about how scared I am about being recorded on film & audio. Take a read here if you missed it.

At the start of January I felt it was time to give myself the push & face this fear that was holding me back from achieving more for myself. The result was I posted my first ever You Tube video. Just a silly out take from a more serious recording session but it’s out there for all to see.

The response was over whelming. I received many messages of support, praise & love just what I needed to keep on going with this. My Solar Plexus was buzzing as my crippling self-doubt slipped away & was replaced with a huge dose of gratitude & confidence.

Less than two weeks after I posted this clip something quite amazing occurred. A friend of mine who hosts an informative spiritually minded Podcast on You Tube – Adrian Snary Unlearning – invited me to participate in an episode. It was such an honor to be asked I agreed without hesitation. The timing was more than perfect to keep the momentum of my first video going. This was the opportunity I needed to assist me to ascend further.

Of course I was nervous.

What were we going to talk about?
Do I have anything interesting to share?
Will anyone watch it?

All the usual self-doubting questions flaring up but I wasn’t going to let myself back out.

The Podcast went extremely well. I facilitated a Reiki session beforehand that helped me get out of my own way & into the zone. We had a quick chat first about a few themes to work with but basically just went with the flow unscripted & unedited.

I was very blessed Adrian is a brilliant host & held the space for me whilst the conversation ran smoothly. My partner sat just off camera too – the live studio audience – giving me support. Recording in my own space also helped me stay relaxed. There’s nothing like being outdoors too despite it being 42 degrees C that day 😉 Luckily the sweat was dripping down my non camera side.

Podcast clip

I’m very happy with the result. Despite my nerves (& the over use of AMAZING!) I did my best to speak from the heart about subjects I am passionate about.

Above all I feel GOOD. I did this for me & have a lot of respect & love for myself for stepping forward to release this fear. I’m proud of myself & that is all that counts. This is a part of my healing journey & I’m grateful for the experience.

Also interesting is to see what the Angel Number said for 54 (The # of the podcast) –

#54 – The angels are guiding and supporting you as you make healthy and necessary changes in your life.

Here’s the podast (below)… enjoy.

With love,

signature

Facing My Greatest Fear

October 21, 2015 By Kat

Public speaking is a gig I just LOVE to do. Probably because I like to talk a lot & sometimes it’s hard to shut me up. I chose to teach a style of yoga that is purely verbal. How great it that! I get paid to talk for 90 minutes plus all the extra time before & after class geeking out on yoga chat.

Public speaking isn’t without its challenges though. It’s easy to hide behind a comfortable learned dialogue. When I’m presenting unscripted on ‘woo woo’ subjects the nerves appear.

Fear shows up in my head:

Will I be accepted?
I might get booed off stage.
They’ll think I’m crazy or not knowledgeable enough.
What happens if I go completely blank?

All these thoughts rush through my head before speaking events. It’s natural. Nerves show up when we haven’t done things before or in new situations. Even now after teaching hundreds of yoga classes if I teach at a new studio I still get nervous. The flutter in my stomach shows I care – positive resistance shows I’m on the right track. If I didn’t care I probably wouldn’t get jitters & it would be time to move direction.

It all comes down to TRUST.

Trusting fully the Universe & spirit has my back calms me down.

Trusting that what comes through & out my mouth is exactly what needed in that moment.

Trusting everyone in attendance will get something out of it, even if they don’t realize it.

Surrendering & just let it flows.

However my greatest fear around speaking out loud is yet to be revealed.

It’s not the nerves I fear the most about public speaking it’s being RECORDED.

How cringe worthy hey to hear your voice back?

“Do I really sound like that?”

Doesn’t our own voice sound weird to how we hear it live in the moment?

Hence I have NEVER recorded myself at a public event.

I’ve side stepped many requests to record guided meditations, video’s & workshops for online access.

I’d rather spend hours writing & editing words than be recorded. My distance healing sessions would be far more economical on my time if I voice recorded them but no I’m super comfortable writing thanks.

Time to get over this fear. It’s holding me back from moving forward & getting my work out there on a greater scale.

The biggest push I’ve felt recently is that I need to start recording my live channeling work.

For those who don’t know what channeling is it’s basically connecting to the universal guidance. Either your own inner voice (Soul) and/or other high vibration energy that transmit messages through a physical being like myself so they can be heard. Channeling can take on different forms; writing, speaking, art, dance or music & much more.

The ‘intuitive reading’ part of my healing sessions is actually ‘channeled guidance.’ The information I pass onto my clients flows through me from a greater vibrational source or from the clients’ higher self. I don’t try to understand or figure out what I’m being told or shown I just relay it the best I can on ‘human terms’ so it can be understood. It’s not coming from me, it’s coming from ‘Source.’

Recently I discovered in my own healing session there is a collective energy wishing to speak through me. Don’t freak out. When I channel guidance I am fully in control I’m still driving the bus & I can stop any time. Channeling is SAFE or I wouldn’t be doing it. It does not possess or take over. Yes there are some channels out there that go into a total trance. This is not what I do. For me I am in a deeply relaxed meditative state in which I am still aware, just like when I facilitate a healing session. The energy & I work together, that is why it is called a collective energy. I am part of the collective, the ‘physical’ vessel on earth.

Channeling is still new to me, especially speaking out loud whilst connected. (Side note: I heard my guides laughing at me here. I’ve been channeling without realizing I think for longer than I give myself credit) Even in healing sessions I rarely speak out during the session I wait till the end then relay messages. Up to this point I’ve never channeled a collective, it’s always been universal. Check out Lee Harris who is an awesome channel who’s collective are called The Z’s.

I’m finally acknowledging it is time for the collective voice to be heard. (To date they have not given me their names yet that is how new this is.) It’s time to take what I do to the next level for the greatest of good. Therefore it would be more beneficial to record my channeling sessions.

Oh my – record myself speaking & publish it online. Freak out!!

Now I’ll share with you what I find highly amusing in my tale.

I’m freaking out about the sound of my voice when it’s recorded yes?
Not freaking out at all that the words I am speaking are not my own and are literally filtering through me from some invisible group energy that is not of our planet?
Because that would be something to freak out about right?
Won’t people think I’m totally nuts for doing this?

No I’m super relaxed about the guidance I channel, as I trust it is what needs to be heard for maximum healing. I’m just not relaxed about recording the whole thing & listening back.

Another important reason I need to get comfortable with recording is when I channel I forget what has been said. Yes I am in control but I do surrender my thinking brain to some degree. The words come out, I speak & once I disconnect often I don’t remember all of what came through. Even more reason to record it!! There will be guidance in there for me too I need to hear.

The messages are clear!

I did try one more avoidance technique before I gave in. Dictation software – this translates voice to text. It seemed like my perfect solution. Then I could just copy & paste the dictated words into my blog or where ever. Deep down I knew, felt & heard when I tried this:

“it has to be recorded.”

Hence my cheat’s way failed. The written text was choppy, illiterate at times & just didn’t translate. There was no way I could edit it, as I couldn’t recall the whole channel.

Okay, I get it I surrender to what has to be. It’s time to get over this fear. Now I’ve opened up about this in public I’m holding myself responsible to do it. The words of the collective are here to be heard & I must honour that. Watch or listen out on this space for more…

Big Love,

Being a Scrooge

September 10, 2014 By Kat

Some of us depending on our culture may feel uncomfortable or deem it ‘tacky’ to talk about money. Personal finance is a private subject. Saying that though there should never be guilt, shame or embarrassment (all low vibration emotions) attached to money whether you have lots or very little. Money is just a tool for exchange. It’s an energy source that allows to us give and receive equally. We should to strive to have a loving relationship with money in order to keep a healthy balance.

Just like any relationship we can suffocate & stifle the flow of energy connected to money by focusing too much on the ‘external.’ What we have on the outside instead of on the inside. The result being we can actually start to push money away instead of attracting more. This happened to me earlier in the year.

Financial planning is a sensible & essential part of life. Bills need paying. Part of my business coaching course work I had set myself a financial goal to reach ‘X amount’ of dollars by April this year. The idea being I would collect a ‘nest egg’ or ‘safety net’ as we call it to fall back on ‘just in case.’ The Aim of my target goal meant I’d have all my big bills covered for the next year with some left over. Then if business hit a slow point I’d be okay, there was money in the bank.

Hello ‘fear’ based activity. Worrying about ‘what if everything went wrong how would I manage for money?’ This thinking is just what fuels such situations as our thoughts create our reality. All I needed to do was surrender to the now in which I am fully abundant, instead of fearing the ‘what if’s of the future.’ Affirming to myself ‘I will always be provided for.’ I realise that now but I had to learn the hard way of course to break the cycle!

Here’s what happened…

When I started to get close to reaching my financial goal my mentality started to change. Just like Mr Scrooge in ‘A Christmas Carol’ I was storing cash away where ever I could. I was constantly checking my Internet banking & watching the amount go up (& down). ‘Where could I cut corners to reach my final goal I started to think?’ There was suddenly a great thirst to reach the target I’d set myself.

Yes it’s good to question the difference between necessities & wants but I went too far. I stopped investing money in self-love activities. Cancelling much needed massages & skipping past the organic produce section of Woolworths. Cutting back on what would actually serve me well. Squirreling money away to meet a number in my account was way off line for me; it’s not how I roll. I’m usually relaxed & carefree but not totally reckless. What I was doing was all too restrictive & tight.

I’ve always had a healthy personal relationship with money. In numerology I am an ‘8 path.’ This means my life has a strong financial focus & I’m a natural born entrepreneur. It also means I have the ability to start again from scratch if needs be. (Which I have done.) Looking back over my life I have never gone without, ends have always been met, someway, somehow. Money has turned up when I needed it the most.

Why was I getting all worried about it now?

I should have been focusing on how grateful I was with what I actually already had in that moment. Which was plenty, not just in money but also in health & happiness. An attitude of gratitude.

The wake up call came thick and fast. My outward focus on collecting money meant I was constricting the energy flow. In order for new money to come in, some had to go out to make room. The old saying of ‘you have to spend money to make money’ springs to mind. No money was going out, as I was being stingy with myself so the universe helped me spend some.

First came the cracked windscreen (I’d not renewed the extra glass insurance cover so this turned out to be a lot), then some other big business expenses turned up & finally I chipped my tooth. Bills, bills & more bills. All things I would consider ‘annoying things to spend money on’ especially when they seemed to turn of out of the blue. (There are no coincidences)

The chipped tooth was interesting. Teeth issues are related to fear, guilt, self-neglect & difficulty making empowered decisions. I certainly had lost a grasp on my personal power by giving it over to my bank account. Cancelling self-love activities is totally self-neglect.

The moment I came close to meeting my financial goal I didn’t quite make it, as something needed paying for. A subtle Universal hint it was time to release the strangle hold & ditch the goal. I was limiting myself to that X amount of money. I’d capped my abundance at that limit. It would never accede it. Shifting my focus back to abundance & fully trusting the universe would provide for me worked wonders. A stack of cash just sitting there didn’t matter.

Once I loosened the grip, relaxed about spending & grateful for what I already had the flow returned. Money came in & it went out again freely with no fear. If I had a bill or an activity that needed paying for the cash would turn up for me. Sometimes it didn’t even hit the sides. I’d get paid for a job then give the money straight back to someone else. It worked the other way too. I would pay for something then I earn the same amount right back again. Consistent giving & regiving.

Focusing on love & giving from pure intent meant that what I gave was returned to me. All the fear melted away once I stopped number watching. You know what the interesting outcome was? I then reached & actually exceeded my ‘financial goal’ without even thinking. The moment I ditched the goal I achieved it. It came as a pleasant surprise when I did check in on my account.

Action plan:

Release the fear & limited thinking regarding what you don’t have. We are all right now in this moment so abundant. Live with an open heart full of gratitude & fully trust the Universe will provide for you. Relax & watch life flow.

Another great resource that has helped me understand the exchange of money if this brilliant book from Kate Northup ‘Money: A love story.’ Well worth a read for sure.

Do you have any interesting money & emotions stories you’d like to share. Please feel free to drop a comment below!

Till soon, love K xx

Hiding away will cause me to stray

May 29, 2014 By Kat

“I can’t see the wood for the trees.”

This is one of my favourite sayings. Especially when there is so much going on around me, I often miss some very obvious messages that are right under my nose.

Why is it so easy to miss the obvious?

It’s very human of us to over complicate matters. Especially when life’s workload starts to increase over thinking kicks in. We let our minds go into over drive & get too analytical. That’s when stress, confusion & indecision can block out the clear signs. We miss the simple, straightforward solution (the obvious) that will allow us to get everything done smoothly & organically.

Hold on did I say there is a simple solution to everything?

Yes I did.

Where do I find this simple solution that is ‘so obvious’?

Right inside our heart or ‘Soul!’ The part of us called ‘Soul’ is all knowing. Soul has been around for many, many lifetimes. All these life experiences are kept in our Soul library. Soul uses this knowledge to help guide us. Soul is our tutor within.

When the doubt & busy thinking takes over & ‘we can’t see the wood for the trees’ that is when we need to slow down & connect with our Soul. The simple solutions come in soft whispers. If we sit in stillness & quiet the busy mind we will hear our messages more clearly.

What have I been missing of late?

Right now I’m feeling things are shifting for me. Life needs to get uncomfortable to keep me on my toes. We’re nearly half way through 2014 & it’s time for a check in with the desires I set at the start of the year. I’ve been cruising along playing it safe. In order to progress further down the track of my desire map it’s time to get very uncomfortable indeed!

The post I wrote here about the channelled message I received from the intuitive art piece gave me a big nudge as to where I need to be going next. Digging deep into my heart Chakra to reconnect with why I’m here & what I need to focus on next. I know just what that is but I’m resisting it!

The problem I’m having is this:

I acknowledge I have my own unique gifts to share with the world, these need to be revealed but I’m freaking scared to let them rip! To finally do things my way, speak out from within, and set free the voice that wants to speak is a huge step. Why? Because I’ve let her out before & I received a huge backlash of hate. Once bitten, twice shy. Isn’t it easier to just play it safe & do what everyone else is doing? Follow suit with the tried & tested method. Be one of the crowd.

I need to be doing things MY WAY. I’ve been looking externally for inspiration, instead of using the totally original source within. To just copy someone elses idea & put my logo on it is not authentic. Sure I can be inspired by others genius then find my ‘own’ way of doing things. If I don’t it will fail, as it won’t be my creative baby.

What I need to do is step away from the external & go straight to my source (Soul) & work from there. Asking my inner tutor for help & inspiration on how I can make my mark by letting my true light shine. Going forward if I create from my heart authentically I will get to where I need to be simply & easily. Wasting time copying others will slow me down. Eventually I will have to come back to what is best for me so why not do it straight off the bat.

In last weeks post I talked openly on the subject of channelling & automatic writing. This might have been the first time some of you have heard about this. It’s a new subject for me to be open about too. In a public speaking event I presented recently I spoke about psychic ability & connecting with the invisible realms. It felt great! Everything flowed & I was well received. I’ve been holding back till now, as I haven’t felt comfortable sharing this openly because of comments like these:

“What a bunch of boll***s”
“You shouldn’t say things like that people will think you’re weird & they won’t want to be associated with you.”
“I can’t believe people actually pay money for this.”
“You’re on a one way ticket to Graylands!” (The state mental health unit.)

Yes all the above are real life conversations I’ve had. It hurts. That is why I shut down being too open on my blog. What started as a free space for me to be me has gone a bit off track as I’ve been holding back.

I know deep down how others perceive me is their own business not mine. The haters & resistance are actually a BRILLIANT indication! I need to embrace them as they are showing me I’m going the right way. It’s nature’s law to have an opposite reaction to every action. To fly forward there must be a pull back. However it has been my greatest struggle not to attach to what I perceive as a negative comment.

I have a great network of like-minded friends who support me. If the mainstream think I’m kooky, then that’s just lovely! My blog is not aimed at the mainstream. This is my space to be as ‘woo woo’ as I like.I should not be restraining my flow in here. The more I hide away the more I will stray from the direction I should be going. Then it will all get too hard & a struggle. Who wants that?

It’s time to come out of hiding even more. Really release the beast. Let my light shine & show others they shouldn’t be afraid too either in their own unique way.

I’ve come up with an ‘action’ plan to assist me to feel comfortable in ‘coming out’ the spiritual closet even more. To feel safe & comfortable with who I am is key for this process. It’s okay to be me.

Action Plan May 2014:

Meditation:
Firstly I need to heal any past hurts related to speaking my truth. I have a number of different guided meditations to assist me:

Releasing the Past by Elizabeth Peru
Manifesting Forgiveness by Elizabeth Peru
Release you fears – Be in your power – Let go of resistance by Claire Obeid, The Wellness Project
Releasing to Expand by Lee Harris

Each meditation is a powerful tool to take me inward with practical steps for healing & letting go of that, which has hurt me.

Alchemical Oils:

I’ve been working with these six Scared Self oils particularly closely in order to open up my heart & honour the true Soul within. (For more on how alchemical oils work check out this post)

Authentic – “I reveal my true self”
Trust – “I trust myself”
Receive – “I appreciate & acknowledge all of me”
Integrity – “I honour my commitments to myself”
Radiance – “I let my inner beauty shine”

Crystals:

I’m using some very gentle & loving vibration crystals for this process. A softer energy is needed. This healing needs to be long term so I’m prepared to take it slow in order for the results to stick. No flying in like a bull in a China shop & face overload.

Rose Quartz – the crystal of self-love. Very gentle, yet powerful. Opens the heart up for unconditional love. Perfect for giving & receiving. A calming & reassuring stone for deep inner healing.
Strawberry Quartz – Grounding & nurturing. Balances the heart & base Chakras. Brings in much earth element energy.
Fuchsite – Assists in understanding other people & their viewpoints. Teaches true self-worth. Another crystal that works well for heart Chakra healing.

My heart healing tool kit

Healing Sessions:

It’s a no brainer for me to receive healing sessions for this situation. It’s just as much part of my job to receive healing as well as to give healing. It’s how I walk my talk! Energetic healing can assist in shifting stale energies, blocked emotions & balances the Chakras. If anything an hour on the healing table is the prefect way to relax & unwind. Here’s what I’ve been receiving recently:

A beautiful Reiki distance healing from one of my dear friends
Distance Healing & Intuitive Guidance from Amy of True Shining Self
A crystal Bed healing session – a magical experience as always
Self-healing with sound – these sessions I initiate myself with a range of different sound tracks. My favourite at the moment is the Crystal Keys by Lia Scallon. It’s during these sessions & guided mediation I use my oils, crystals & coloured chakra silks.

Journaling:

Keeping written notes about the challenges I face & how I over come them is so important. To look back in old journals too see how far I have come & the stories I have written is very empowering. It’s easy to forget things when we are caught up in the moment. Journaling is a great reminder. It’s very therapeutic to put our thoughts into words. Sometimes once a situation has been committed to paper you can look at it from a different angle. Often it doesn’t seem so bad once we’ve got it off our chests.

This plan has been well under way now for a week. I’m feeling a lot more centred, confident & focused. It’s back to the drawing board & the blog planner now to get some ideas of how to move forward with my posts. I can feel the excitement bubbling up inside…. Time to get super woo woo!

Is there anything you are struggling with at the moment based around speaking out & not being one of the crowd? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

Love K xx

1 2 Next