listening Archives - Seren Holistic Lifestyles

This post has nothing to do with brooding teenagers and their undead pointy-toothed ‘vegetarian’ lovers. No blood will be sucked either, just energy!

I started using the term “Energy Vampire” after it came into my awareness that some people I know literally suck the life out of me. Bleed me dry of energy. They leave me feeling exhausted, depleted and hung over even though no alcohol had been consumed. I’d wake up the morning after feeling like I’d been run over by a truck. Ever had that feeling after a meet up with certain friends? I’m sure we all have them in our circle.

Please don’t get me wrong I use the term Energy Vampire with the kindest of endearment. My energy hungry friends are lovely that is why they are my friends. It is natural for me to attract people who need rescuing. I like rescuing people and looking after them. Get them out of the holes there’re in and back on track. It’s part of who I am. I’m here to help, to heal & to give. I am happy too but now on my terms.

On my current path of cleaner living I’ve found my intuition has been enhanced, my non-physical senses are sharper and my light is brighter. Before I became aware of this amazing knock on effect I’d created I’d get sucked into other people’s chaos and in turn come away just as depleted as them. My Energy Vampires always have something wrong with them, you might have a cold but this friend has flu, a sore throat and pneumonia! Get the idea? There’s always a drama going on bigger & better than anyone else’s. That’s cool, that’s life. They need to down load, get advise and reassurance that everything will be ok. They want to talk, a lot, without coming up for air or letting anyone else have a breath. My mistake used to be I’d give them that reassurance & support by personalizing. That’s how my energy was lost.

We’ve all done it. If someone is telling a story and looking for some advice the easiest thing to do is say ‘yes me too, that happened to me!’ Instantly you feel like you’re supporting them as you’ve been through the same thing. You feel you can give honest advice because you have felt their pain yourself. There it is. The moment you personalize you do feel their pain, you take it right off them and into you. That’s why you feel so hungover the next day as you are now carrying that friends pain yourself.

Energy transfers happen that easily. As soon as you say ‘me too’ an invisible cord (an etheric cord) with a big fat fishing hook on the end shoots out of your friend and attaches right inside of you. Hooks in. Just like an electric cable this cord allows your friend to suck your precious energy from you, filling up their tank with you kind, loving and happy energy. It’s a two way street of course, when we give we also receive. In this situation the giver gets a bum deal as you receive back their pain and misery. These cords stay attached too, they can tap in at anytime even when you’re not together, especially when they are thinking about you and vise versa.

How do you stop these cords from getting attached & your energy sucked? Simple. Listen and do not personlise. You can give a lot of support without even saying a word by listening. If they ask you ‘what do you think?’ turn it back around to them, ‘what do you think you should do?’ Get them to try and figure it out for themselves. Yes they have come to you for advice the best advice you can give is to get them to figure it out for themselves. They will feel so liberated knowing they had the power to sort themselves out rather than just be told what to do by you. We are all different anyway, what you might work for you might not work some someone else. We all have this power of knowing inside of us we just need to access it & trust it. It’s so easy to be influenced by other people’s thoughts and actions. This is not being authentic to our true selves.

Really start to notice how you feel when you stop personalizing. Do you feel lighter? Less oppressed? It takes practice; it is hard I fall off the wagon too from time to time. The words ‘me too’ fly out too very at times. It doesn’t have to. If you are listening, being still within yourself it becomes easy to stay neutral. No cords will attach, no social hangovers will occur. If you feel a cord has attached, cut it. Imagine a big pair of scissors and snip it away. Send it into the universe to be taken care of.

Give it a go this week. You will be a much stronger, supportive friend and keep hold of your precious energy. Lead from your heart and send out loving, supporting thoughts to your friends and everyone will reap the rewards.

Love & light,

Seren xx

How many of you have been asked “are you hungry?” and immediately looked at your watch, clock or other time revealing object? Yes, me! I used to be such ‘clock eater.’ Sounds a bit strange that term doesn’t it? Images of a clock sat on a dinner plate ready for you to chow down on. I was even told off for it by a friend when I looked at my watch when asked if I was hungry, “why did you look at your watch, that’s not your stomach”.

It’s such a part of our society to eat at regular times. Growing up our evening meal was always served at 5pm. (I still believe it is now) Sunday lunch was every Sunday without fail at 1pm, no excuses you had to be there. My partners’ factory has set smoko and lunch times. Schools are the same. Breaks and lunch at the same time every day. Very regimented. I do understand school’s have a schedule to keep, would be mayhem if 300+ children took their lunch at different times of the day.

We are so conditioned to eat ‘on time’ & ‘by the clock.’ It’s instilled into us, it’s a part of life but does it have to be? There are many other factors that cause us to eat but I’m just going to focus on the concept of ‘eating by the clock’ in this post.

I was part of that clock eating gang. I used to look at my watch first when food thoughts appeared because if it was too early to eat lunch I’d panic I’d be hungry too soon again before dinner and need a snack. Where would I be, would I be able to access a snack later on? Fear. It all came down to fear with me. Scared I’d be left hungry and then be over come with that horrid feeling of sickness that can happen if you’re over hungry. Always eating to stay ahead of the game or the hunger. The hunger game!

Many diets tell us to eat lots of small meals and snacks during the day to keep our energy levels up. This makes sense, some people need to follow this plan, but if you’re not actually hungry do you actually need this constant supply of food? Eating ‘just in case.’

Gradually over the years and even more so now that I am more in tune with my body, I’ve stopped clock eating. I let my body tell me if I need nourishment by stopping & listen to it. When you are properly hungry, your stomach feels empty, it’s churning, you start to fatigue. Then it’s obvious you need to eat!!! It’s those times in between or when you look at the clock & it’s ‘lunch time’ so you might as well go eat. That’s when you need to tune in.

When I start to think about food, usually when triggered by external factors, I ask myself – am I hungry? Do I just need more water? Thirst can easily be mistaken for hunger. Am I just thinking about food because what time it is? It takes practice to listen to your body. Especially as your head, the ego will often jump in as it does and tell you something different. Fear is manifested by the head/ego. Your soul, your heart, inside, that will tell you the truth & what you really need. It won’t lie to you.

How do you listen to yourself? Simple, stop what you’re doing. Move away from any distractions, look away from your computer screen, go outside, focus on the wall, anything. Breathe deeply and ask the question. “Am I hungry?” The answer may take a while to come. You may get this answer in a different ways. Your ‘inner voice’ may whisper ‘yes’. A visual picture may appear in your minds eye – a piece of fruit, a glass of water, go for a walk. You may get a sensory message through your nose. If you’re not meant to eat this smell may be off putting, or you may smell something delicious. Lastly you may physically manifest the answer, the obvious grumble in your stomach or simply nothing. If you get nothing at all that may be your answer – no you are not hungry.

I now eat when I am physically hungry or signalled by my inner self. Yes this means eating outside of the ‘normal times.’ For example I start my day with a vegetable juice & green supplement about 6am. I then hungry for breakfast at 10am, lunch maybe around 3pm. Lunch is my main meal, I eat the most food at lunch time as I need the energy to get me through the rest of the day. Often if I’m working a late shift then I don’t feel hungry enough to eat at 10pm (not good to sleep on a full stomach) when I return home, so I don’t. If I am signaled to eat I do, usually something light.

Then I start again the next day. I let go of the fear thinking ‘I didn’t eat a ‘proper’ meal last night so I need to make up for it this morning with a full breakfast.’ I forget what happened the day before, this is a new day, and what do I need right now today is the only thought I think of. Staying present and living in the moment. I feel healthier, leaner and cleaner. I never stress about calories, cravings or hunger pangs for this way of eating suits me as it comes from within ME.

Everyone is different. Some of you may read this & think I’m totally wacked. Not a problem! It is your life, your body, listen to it, it is right there to guide you when you are ready.

Bon appetite!

Love & light

Seren xx

Posts Tagged ‘listening’

Energy Vampires

Clock Eaters