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Love Seren xx
Have you ever found yourself saying yes to something you don’t really want to do? Then spending the whole time hating it and wishing you’d said no because you have so many other enjoyable things you could be doing instead? I bet we all have.
Why do we say yes to things we really want to say no? It comes down to that being a ‘good person’ thing that is quite the ideal to live by now. We don’t like letting people down, we want to do the right thing by our friends or family. Be available 24/7 to help out when needed. This must make you a good person right? What defines being a good person though? Who is actually setting this standard? I’ll tell you. You are.
You are in control you’re your life. No one else is, you are the one in the driving seat. No one else can suddenly jump into you’re body, kick out your soul and start making all the decisions for you. Why do we have such a hard time saying no then? We clearly not in control are we?
Let me share my story, I am a reformed yes person. I like to please people, I am here to serve and assist others. It makes me tick. I am happy to help. I am still all the above but now I have boundaries. I always used to say yes to everything just to make other people happy and be ‘a good person.’ However I was saying yes to things I didn’t want to do or didn’t have the time for. Over giving and over stretching myself. I ended up resenting the people because I felt they were being so demanding. They didn’t know they were putting on me because I just kept saying yes. Isn’t that an indication I was happy to help or else I’d say no right? It caused me stress and anxiety. Then I hated myself for bringing it all on.
Funnily enough my observations revealed more to me. The friends who were constantly calling on me were also the one’s always telling me how busy I am, “I can’t believe how you fit everything in, how do you do it? You’re super women.” If they noticed how busy I am why were they demanding I take on even more from them? That’s simple, I didn’t say no or stand up for myself.
Then why didn’t I stop? I didn’t realise I was doing it. It was a repetitive cycle of saying yes. I was so far in I couldn’t see the wood for the trees. I was constantly dropping everything I was doing, all the things I wanted to do, to meet the demands of others. Some were unpaid jobs for things that I should have been charging for. Somewhere deep inside it did feel good that people would call on me if they were in a fix. I love helping, it made me feel wanted and in demand. I felt that I must be really good at what I do if people are calling on me like this at a drop of a hat. I’d fallen in the trap of wanting approval from others. The only approval I need is from myself. Self love people!
Once my wake up call came it really opened my eyes. I was hurting myself so much by being that ‘yes person.’ I needed to love myself enough to say no and spend my precious time doing what I love the most. When love is not the centre point of everything you do then you’re not being authentic to yourself. You will feel unbalanced and life won’t flow. Who wants to live like that?
My biggest realisation was indeed people do value my talent, they like me enough to want to spend time with me and that’s why they ask me to help them out or go places with them. What I didn’t figure at first was if I said no to being ‘on demand’ then these people valued me enough to wait till I had time or respected my choice that I didn’t want to accept their kind invite. Those who didn’t want to wait or got grumpy I wouldn’t go out with them I should wave goodbye too. They’ll always find someone else to help them out who has the time so you don’t have to feel bad. No one should have the right to make demands of you and make you feel guilty.
Setting boundaries and realistic time scales really helped me. Once I learned to do this then I was happy again to help out as it was on my terms. Now I dose myself up with self-love and honour my needs it makes me a stronger person for those around me. It’s not my job to make others happy they have to do that for themselves, just like I’m doing for myself. It’s okay to say no, you might struggle at first but give it a go you’ll feel so much lighter and brighter for it.
Love Seren xx
Muesli bars are a quick, easy & transportable go too snack. Have you ever read the ingredients label though? The ‘healthy’ snack bar you thought you were having may well contain more sugar and crap than a straight up chocolate bar. Sugar, preservatives, saturated fat, hidden gluten and dairy the list goes on. I personally try my best to avoid such horrors by making my own. They seriously do not take long and investing 45 minutes (30 of which they are in the oven!) to make your snack bars from scratch for a more healthful life isn’t that worth it? They taste better too!
There are loads of recipes on the net. My favourite at the moment is from Lorna Jane’s Move Nourish Believe website. I use my Theromix to lightly chop the nuts before throwing everything else in and giving it a good mix on reverse setting, speed 6/7. Takes five minutes. Use nuts, seeds and fruit that you like the most. The best thing about these recipes are they are so adaptable.
Enjoy! Love Seren xx
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©Seren Holistic Lifestyles Blog 2013
(please share the love with full credit thanks)
I’m the kind of gal who likes to put on a bit of ‘slap,’ other words know as make up. It makes me feel good and I enjoy the process. Maybe it’s the artist in me coming out, as I’m literally painting my face. I only wear make up when I go out or to my day job. Weekends are au natural.
During my transition to a more healthful lifestyle it came into my awareness that everyday beauty products are full of nasty chemicals. Our skin is our biggest organ and just like everything in nature it’s a two-way gate. Toxins can be released out through our skin so toxins can easily be absorbed back inside.
My focus on todays post is all about make up. There are many ‘natural’ claiming brands out there on the market. Oh I do love a good ‘green washing’ debate. All I advise is to read the ingredients label of your products. If you can’t pronounce the word or have no idea what it is then find out. You might be surprised. Products such as foundations, blusher, eye shadows and lipstick may well contain toxic ingredients such as petrochemicals, bismuth oxycholoride, GM products, talc and fillers. These chemicals can be equated to allergies, irritations, fertility problems and even cancer.
After hours of online research and a good Soul conversation I felt it was time to clear out my make up bag. It’s a good idea to do this every twelve months anyway as products do have a use by date. Most of my products were coming up for chuck out time so out they went. I literally opened the bin and tipped the contents of my make up bag in it. Yes a little drastic but it’s what ‘I’ felt I needed to do.
The cosmetics brand I now use is INIKA. You can read all about the founder Miranda Bond’s story here. My favourite brands have always been developed with a solid personal story behind them. Miranda was struggling with fertility issues that lead her onto a holistic path. This lady walks her talk and developed INIKA cosmetics as a result. “A 100 percent natural beauty brand incorporating mineral makeup, vegan and organic products that are completely free from synthetic chemicals and harmful ingredients.” INIKA products are lush. The eye shadow stays on all day, even during the Australian summer. I love the mineral powder foundation that gives great coverage even on my oily days.
With my blusher I decided to try a different brand, Elusyion. I preferred their colours after test-driving some sample packs from an awesome website Naturally Safe. (You can test drive nearly all the products in small 2 serve bags) I compared the ingredients between the Elusyion blusher with the very popular Clinique blusher. Twenty-two ingredients for Clinique (including some nasty’s) compared to seven in the Elusyion. Click here & here to see for yourself.
Okay I’ll put my hand up and be honest with you before I come across as too holier than thou. One product did not go straight in the bin. My final push at my make up overhaul was to quit waterproof mascara. It was my favourite thing. No panda eyes for me. I’ve used it since I first started wearing mascara aged 14 or 15. It was my first make up discovery. Waterproof mascara is probably the evilest thing out there and it goes next to one of your most precious commodities, your eyes. Full of chemicals to make it water resistant this mascara is similar to oil or solvent based paints. The time it takes to remove or scrub off with special oil based remover should be a good enough indication it has no business near your body. The first toxin free mascara I am test driving is Earth Lab Cosmetics 100% Natural Raw Mascara, so far so good. It is so light & natural I even forgot I was wearing it and gave my eyes a good old rub. When I realised what I’d done I checked my eyes and no smudging!
Since switching to the toxin free cosmetics my skin has been a lot better. Cleaner and clearer, it has a healthy glow, it is happy. I look back on how I’d cover the signs of toxin overload (pimples, rashes, flaky skin) with more toxins, i.e. mainstream make up. Toxins on top of toxins. Some may say why not get rid of cosmetics altogether, this would be better wouldn’t it? For me, as I’ve said I like to wear makeup. What counts is how I feel inside knowing I am not adding unnecessary toxins that can be avoided by wearing natural brands.
Check out the image below with a quick break down of how many chemicals there are and the most worrying in a selection of our every day products.
Do you wear chemical free makeup? Share your favourite finds in the comments below.
Love Seren xx
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©Seren Holistic Lifestyles Blog 2013
(please share the love with full credit thanks)
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