Travel offers a change of space & invites fresh energy into one’s life. Everything appears exciting & different which can be very uplifting. There are opportunities to explore & new things to discover. Being away from home is like one big adventure every day.
This is just what I’ve been doing for the past eight weeks by travelling to the East coast of Australia. Stepping out of my normal day-to-day routine allowed space for a spiritual adventure to present.
Sea change, new adventures & a Soul cup refill
We are all constantly evolving & expanding. This can get quite uncomfortable at times. Simply trust the periods of discomfort are leading to a growth spurt. This is how I felt for most of April leading into May. When I arrived east I knew this was the time for reflection & retreat.
Even those of us who have consciously chosen to take a more spiritual path, leading from within, have challenges. Probably more so than ever. Nowadays the challenges show up thick & fast. Working knowingly with the universe is fascinating. I wish to accelerate, learn & grow in this lifetime so embrace challenges head on in order to achieve this. It’s the best life education I feel I can receive. That is why I share this story with you today to let you know we are all ONE going through the same things.
A big check in with myself was long overdue. One major change I’d noticed about myself was physical. I wasn’t feeling comfortable in my skin. This was showing up on my face with pimple breakouts, congestion & redness. My clothes were feeling tight & I didn’t like what I was seeing in the yoga room mirror. So much so I’d started to wear long tops to practice in. This I haven’t done for four & a half years. I was picking the skin on my fingers & at my nails especially when I feeling challenged.
This behaviour wasn’t authentic, hiding away instead of addressing why there I was feeling discomfort. The extra physical layers appearing (It wasn’t a huge amount but enough to get my attention) were for protection – from myself.
Why did I need protecting?
Everything was going really well, and still is for me, both in business & personally. Even better than ever actually, I’m on a real upswing this year. With every pull forward there is always an equal & opposite pull back. My positive resistance showed up as…
Hence the need for protection, I was attacking myself. The self-sabotage came in the form of falling into victim mode (This was part of my Mercury Retrograde theme for May). There are a few people who challenge me greatly & I just can’t escape them (& shouldn’t have to). I feel they are here to help me honor my truth. My buttons were being pushed & I was rising to the bait. I felt attacked, put down, trampled on & left feeling unworthy.
It wasn’t the other people making me feel like this. I was creating the drama in my own mind! Instead of smiling, gracefully accepting the situation & moving on instantly I was creating a huge story out of it that I carried around for weeks (if not longer). This was making me rather unhappy.
The drama was then manifesting physically around my middle, right over my Solar Plexus Chakra our major energy store hub of self-worth & self-esteem. I was draining my own energy & forming a protective layer in an attempt to create a barrier.
Anxiety was rearing its ugly head too, which just fed the story more. I dreaded bumping into my perceived attackers & constantly worried about ‘what they would say next.’ I bet these people were totally clueless to the crazy that was going on in my head. It was my mind creating the fuss then attracting more of it in reality. Totally bonkers behaviour – looking back now.
Yoga is a great way to ground, harmonise & shift stale energy. (Photography by Ben Marden)
How did I figure all this out?
Having the space to connect in with myself properly without distraction showed me the way. (I should have been doing this from the start but again I was too caught up in it) Spending lot’s of time out doors connecting with nature cleared away the cobwebs got me grounded. Being away from the usual triggers, having a solid regular yoga practice, eating nourishing seasonal food, new projects to get stuck into & friends to catch up with helped disconnect from ‘the story.’ It no longer mattered & I could see I had just been attacking myself with my thoughts.
Focusing on things that I love filled up my Soul cup & gave me so much happiness. Instead of wasting energy on perceived drama & put my powers into creating a life I love everyday. Just how it should be, not just 90% of the time with 10% drama creation. 100% love all the time.
Self-love & healing
Metaphysically I used deep meditation to shift the victim consciousness, speak my truth & stop being a people pleaser (this is a big reason I was reacting so badly as I want everyone to be happy. When I perceived people weren’t happy with my actions I attached to that & felt like a failure. I am only responsible for my own happiness, no one else’s). Meditating with three of the healing releasers from New Energy Awakening assisted in the shift.
Releasers from New Energy Awakening
Attending a brilliant day retreat for healers showed me other ways to release & just be. Using a combination of breath work, ecstatic dance, moving meditation & sound healing. Being around people with the same passions for wellness & healing was healing in itself too.
Finally I had an extremely beneficial kinesiology session that really helped me get to the bottom of this deep-seated emotional hook. It’s amazing what you unearth by stripping by the layers.
Once I relaxed, regained my centre & personal power my body responded. Without even trying the layers of protection melted away. My stressed out skin cleared up & I haven’t had a break out in weeks. The long yoga top I brought to practice in (the cloak) hasn’t been worn in the yoga room. I now look in the mirror with eyes full of gratitude & love. I’ve called back my power.
The result is I feel lighter, brighter & my jaw isn’t aching. (We can hold a lot of tension here) I’m standing taller again so my shoulders are less tight & my spine is nice & straight. (Hunching over is another form of protective behavior) All signs to take note of in the future.
Over to you…
- Have you had a similar experience?
- Has feeling stressed & anxious has caused a noticeable effect on your physical body?
- Do you look externally to blame others instead of checking in with what’s going on inside of you?
Feel free to share in the comments below.
BIG love, till next time,